The problem with eating at an American restaurant is that you’re hungry again a week later.
Why do we call it toilet paper? Does anyone wipe their toilet with it?
I don’t understand fast food. I’ve been eating it for years but I seem to be getting slower and slower.
I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It’s Hans free.
My friend fell and broke his left arm and left leg. He said he was all right.
My grandma told me her joints are getting weaker, so I told her to roll them tighter.
A camel can work 10 days without drinking, but I can drink 10 days without working.
I’m wearing 2 watches so I can have a lot of time on my hands.
What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea?
It gets wet.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away but an onion a day keeps everyone away.
Jokes about women’s bodily functions are not funny. Period.
What is red and bad for your teeth?
You’re not completely useless. You can always serve as a bad example.
I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m okay.
What does a man consider a seven course meal?
A hot dog and a six pack of beer!
A dog has an owner. A cat has a slave.
Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.
Ham and Eggs – A day’s work for a chicken; a lifetime commitment for a pig.
Isn’t it scary that doctors call what they do “practice”?
To err is human. To forgive is against company policy.