Latest Funny Jokes

Welcome to the Funny Jokes Factory. See Our Funny Jokes below.

   

Guess who

I was on the bus the other day & I couldn’t control my fart.

So, I let it out thinking that nobody would guess who it was because the music was too loud.

Too bad, I forgot I was wearing headphones.

Share on FacebookShare on Google+Tweet about this on Twitter
25 0

The Noisiest People

A Scottish mother visits her son in his New York flat.

Mother: So Charlie, How do you find the Americans?

Charlie: They are the noisiest people I have met in my entire life. The neighbour in the flat on the left won’t stop banging his head against the wall and the neighbour in the flat on the right, just screams and screams all night long.

Mother: Oh, Charlie! How do you manage to put up with them?

Charlie: What can I do? I just lie in the bed quietly, playing my bagpipes.

Share on FacebookShare on Google+Tweet about this on Twitter
44 1

Its the only way

A woman notices her husband standing on the bathroom scale.

He sucks his tummy in, before checking his weight.

Wife: Hahaha! You know that sucking the tummy is not going to help.

Husband: It sure does. It’s the only way I can see the numbers.

Share on FacebookShare on Google+Tweet about this on Twitter
45 0

The floor is still wet

Police officer on a crime scene calls the station.

Police Officer: I have an interesting case here. The woman shot her husband because he stepped on the floor she just mopped.

Station: Did you arrest her?

Police Officer: No, not yet. The floor is still wet.

Share on FacebookShare on Google+Tweet about this on Twitter
44 3

Irony of the Iron

A blonde walks into a doctor’s clinic with both her ears burnt.

Doctor: So, how did this happen?

Blonde: I was ironing my clothes and the phone rang. I picked up the iron by mistake instead of the phone.

Doctor: And what about the other ear?

Blonde: That idiot called again.

Share on FacebookShare on Google+Tweet about this on Twitter
43 0

Arab Kid

Arab kid writes a letter to his dad.

Hi Dad,
London is beautiful, nice & I like it.
I’m a bit ashamed to goto college in my ferrari when all my teachers & friends travel by train.
Your Son,
Naseer

Dad’s reply:
Loving Son,
£20,000,000 transferred to your bank account.
Please stop embarrassing yourself.
Go get yourself a train too.

Share on FacebookShare on Google+Tweet about this on Twitter
53 5

Juliet

Just been arrested by the police after being given the part of Romeo in my local theater. The script clearly said ‘Enter Juliet from behind’.

Share on FacebookShare on Google+Tweet about this on Twitter
55 2

The lady

An old lady visits a doctor’s clinic.

Lady: I have a slight problem with gas, although it doesn’t bother me too much. Whenever I fart, it’s always silent and it never smells. And, to tell you the truth, I’ve farted at least 10 times since I have been here in your clinic. I am sure, you didn’t notice it because there is no smell or sound.

Doctor: I understand. I will give you some pills. Take one pill a day & come back to see me in 4 days.

After 4 days, the old lady comes back and complains to the doctor.

Lady: Doctor, I don’t know what on earth you gave me, but now it stinks terribly whenever I fart.

Doctor: Great! Now that we have cleared up your nose, let’s work on your hearing.

Share on FacebookShare on Google+Tweet about this on Twitter
69 1

Catherine

Husband: Babe, I had an accident after work today. Catherine took me to the hospital. After an X-ray, they said, my knees have dislocated and they will have to amputate my right leg.

Wife: Who is Catherine?

Share on FacebookShare on Google+Tweet about this on Twitter
66 0